The SKV

Parable of the Groupies, et al-- Matthew 25

As usual, the extreme literal translation is in normal text, while the very dynamic translation is in italic.

The kingdom of heaven resembles ten virgins who took their lamps themselves and went to the meeting of the bridegroom. And five of them were foolish and five sensible. For when the foolish took their lamps they did not bring with them oil. But the sensible brought oil in containers with their lamps. And since the bridegroom was delaying, they all became tired and fell asleep. In the middle of the night a shout happened, "Behold the bridegroom! Come to his meeting!" Then all those virgins arose and trimmed their lamps. And the thoughtless said to the sensible, "Give to us of your oil, because our lamps are going out." But the sensible answered, saying, "No, there is not enough for us and you. Rather, go to the sellers and buy for yourselves.” And as they were going to buy, the bridegroom came and those ready went with him to the wedding and the door was locked. And later the other virgins also came saying, "Lord, Lord, open up for us." But he said, answering, "Amen I say to you, I don't know you." Therefore be alert, because you do not know the day nor the hour.

The time of judgment is like a bunch of groupies waiting for the rock star at the backstage door. The prudent groupies brought extra makeup with them, but the thoughtless groupies figured that their looks would carry them into the party just as they were. But the concert went longer than any of them thought, and they all became sleepy and passed out, right there on the sidewalk. Then, in the middle of the night, they heard, “He’s coming!” All the groupies arose and the prudent ones began touching up their makeup. The thoughtless ones asked the others if they could share and the prudent ones said, “No way! Look, there’s a all night mart across the street, why don’t you get some for yourself?” So the groupies without makeup went across the street to see if they could touch up their makeup. As they were gone, the rock star came, welcomed in the groupies that were there, and locked the door. Soon, the other groupies came back, banging at the door. Through the door, the rock star said, “Who is it?” The groupies said, “It’s us! We’re here for the party!” The rock star yelled back, “Get lost! The party’s already underway! And I have no idea who you are!” Therefore, be ready at all times, because you don’t know the time when your Lord returns.

For just like a man, leaving on a journey, called his own slaves and handed to them his possessions. To this one he gave five talents, to this two, to this one, each according to his own ability and he went on his journey. Immediately, he who received five talents worked with them and profited five more. Likewise, he of two profited two. But he who received one, going away, dug in the earth and hid his Lord's money. And after much time the Lord of those slaves came and settled accounts with them. And he who received five talents, approaching, offered five more talents, saying, "Lord, you handed to me five talents-- look, five more talents I have profited." His Lord said to him, "Good, you good and faithful slave. Over a little you were faithful, over much you will rule. Enter into the joy of your Lord." And he of two talents, approaching, said, "Lord, two talents you handed over to me. Look, two more talents I have profited!" His Lord said to him, "Good, you good and faithful slave. Over a little you were faithful, over much you will rule. Enter into the joy of your Lord." And he who took one talent, approaching, said, "Lord, knowing you to be a stern man, reaping where you did not sow and gathering where you did not scatter, and I feared, going away to hide your talent in the earth. Look, you have what is yours." But his Lord, answering, said, "You wicked slave and lazy! You knew that I reap where I do not saw and I gather where I do not scatter? Therefore it was necessary for you to put my silver with the bankers coming I receive my own with interest. Therefore take from him the talent and give it to him who has ten talents. For to everyone who has will be given and he will have an increase, but he who does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. And cast this worthless slave to the outer darkness. There will be the weeping and gnashing of teeth.

There was a CEO preparing to go on a journey, so he summoned his vice presidents and appointed to them the tasks they were to care for. “Here,” he said to one Veep who displayed some business talents, “Take this five thousand dollars. Do what you can to make it profit.” He gave another one two thousand and another one thousand. The Veep with five thousand walked straight out of the boardroom to the stocks and made wise trades until he doubled the amount given. The Veep with two thousand succeeded in the same way, doubling his given amount. But the Veep with a thousand went home immediately and dug a hole in the ground and put the CEO’s money there. “There,” he thought, “That ought to keep it safe.” Then he played golf in his office, awaiting the CEO’s return. It took a long while, but eventually the CEO returned to his main office. Then he called them in to look at their accounting books. The Veep with five thousand strode straight up to the CEO and said, “Boss, you gave me five thousand, and I doubled your money! Now you have ten thousand!” The CEO smiled at him and said, “Excellent. You have rewarded my faith in you, you faithful manager. This was but a small test, but I will put you in charge of large companies now, because whoever manages insignificant things well can be entrusted with the important. You will manage with me, in my offices, now.” The one with two thousand, emboldened, approached the CEO as well and said, “Here, sir, you can see that you gave me two thousand dollars, and I doubled that amount, and am able to give you four thousand.” The CEO responded, “Excellent. You have also rewarded my faith in you, for you, too, are a faithful manager. I will put you in charge of companies as well, because whoever manages insignificant things well can be entrusted with the important. You will also manage with me, in my offices.” Then the third Veep approached the CEO. “Now,” he said, “I approached your money in a different way. You see, I know you are a strict man, and I hated to think of what would happen if I lost the money you gave me. So I figured that a man of your resources could get something out of nothing, so I just put the money in the ground for safe keeping. Now I’ve dug it up, and here it is.” The Veep handed the CEO the thousand dollars, filthy and mold growing on it. The CEO turned around and told the Veep, “So, you figured that I could get something out of nothing, eh? Well, then you could have put it in the bank, and at least I would have gotten a bit of interest! You are an idiot! And lazy! All this time, and all I get is some rotting cash, not a cent more than I gave you? You,” and he pointed to one of his personal servants, “take this… cash… and give it to the Veep that has ten thousand. My principle is this—those who have something to offer obtain more, but those with nothing to offer, even what he has will disappear. And throw this man out of here, he’s fired! He can spend his days with those mourning their own corpses in the unemployment line.”

And when the Son of Man comes in his glory and all the angels with him then he will sit upon his glorious throne and all the nations will be gathered before Him and he will separate them from others, just as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. And he will stand the sheep at his right and the goats at his left. Then the king will say to those at his right, "Come, you who are blessed of my Father, take possession of the Kingdom which was prepared for you from the beginning of the world. For I hungered and you gave to me to eat; I thirsted and you watered me; I was a foreigner and you gave hospitality to me; naked and you clothed me; I was sick and you cared for me; in prison and you came to me." Then the righteous will answer him, saying, "Lord, when we saw you hunger and we fed you? Or thirsty and water you? Or when we saw you a foreigner and gave you hospitality? Or naked and we clothed you? And when we saw you sick or in prison and came to you? And the King, answering, will say to them, "Amen I say to you, upon as much you did to one of these my least brothers, to me you acted."

When the Emperor of God descends from heaven displaying his power, having all the angels of heaven surrounding him, then he will rule from his throne and every person on earth will be collected and will stand before His throne. He will judge them all and will divide them up as a rag picker will separate the useful from the trash. And the recyclable he will stand at his right, and the trash he will stand at his left. The King will proclaim to the right, “I welcome you, those whom my Father speaks well of. You may now possess the Kingdom—my Kingdom—which has been made ready for you, the righteous of humanity, from the creation of the world. You are worthy of this, because of your assistance to me. I was hungry in your neighborhood, and you gave me food. I was parched, passing by your dwelling, and you offered me some water. I was an immigrant and outcast and you let me in your house for the night. I was walking around freezing, and you give me your coat. I was sick and you nursed me to health. I was in prison and you came and met my needs. You listened to me when I was lonely. You kept me safe when I was fearful. You gave me work when I was in need and paid me at the end of the day.” These righteous will answer the Emperor thus, “Our Lord, we thank you. But are you sure you are speaking of us? Did we really see you hungry and feed you? Did we see you needing a drink and gave you something? When did we see you—you of all people-- an outcast and bring you into our house? When were you freezing and we gave you clothes or a blanket? And when, my Lord, when were you in prison and we had opportunity to visit you?” And the Emperor will answer them, “Listen carefully—whatever you did it to these disciples of mine—even these lowly ones— you did the same to me.”

Then he will say also to those at his left, "Go away from me, cursed ones, to the eternal fire which was prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you did not give to me to eat; I was thirsty and you did not water me; I was a foreigner and you did not give me hospitality; Naked and you did not clothe me; Sick and in prison and you did not care for me." Then they will answer him, saying, "Lord, when we saw you hungry or thirsty or foreign or naked or sick or in prison and we did not serve you?" Then he will answer to them, saying, "Amen I say to you, upon as much you did not do to these the least, you did not do to me." And these will depart to eternal punishment, and the righteous to eternal life.

Then the Emperor will turn to his other side. “You will leave me, you whom the Father curses with his every breath. You will be cast into the punishment which was created for Satan and his messengers. Because I came to your town, hungry, and you told me to get a job. I came to your street, parched with thirst, and you wouldn’t talk to me. I was an immigrant, a homeless person, a mentally ill person on the street, a traveler and you refused me entrance at your doorstep. I was shivering in the cold and you passed by me, although you had closets full of coats, shelves full of extra blankets you weren’t using. I became bed-ridden and disabled and you were too busy with your own life to assist me, or even check in on me. I was in prison, through no fault of my own, and in a locked mental health facility and in the state hospital and you didn’t even write to me, let alone visit me. You cannot live with me in my kingdom, since you did not share your life with me when I was with you.” They will respond, “But Great Lord, I’m sure you weren’t hungry or thirsty! And you couldn’t have been an outcast or freezing. You were never in our neighborhood—I would remember! And you, being sick—I don’t think so. And you would never have been in prison or a mental health hospital. And if you were, we would have been there for you, serving you, Lord!” The Emperor answers, “Listen carefully, inasmuch as you did not serve these lowly ones, you did not serve me. I was there, through my disciples, as crazy as they seemed, as insignificant as they seemed, and you didn’t let them in your life. Even so, I don’t want you in mine.” And they will leave the Lord and go to eternal punishment. But those who acted with justice lived with the Lord eternally.

posted by Steve Kimes @ 4:34 PM